Tools in 100 Days of an Alcohol Free (AF) Life

I recently took a poll to see if it would help or bring value to share what has helped me in the first 100 days of an alcohol free (AF) life. From the response to that question, I was very encouraged to share this information with others who might be sober curious, know others that could use this information or to understand what someone is going through when they decide to give up alcohol.

Let’s get started.

Relationship with God

This one may not come to a surprise to many of you, but He is the reason that I am here.

It’s that simple.

I have always been a believer, but not always a participant in my own faith. What does that mean? Well, it wasn’t before I started reading the Word – like actually reading the Bible – until I could really make sense of what role I was playing in this narrative. After I joined my Community Bible Study in October 2017, the words and stories started to come alive in my heart. It was so fun and so moving and the women in my core group are some that have touched my heart forever!

In January, I asked God to help me. I wanted to be freed of this uncomfortable place of “grey area drinking” and He did.

He keeps His promises.

In May, our family became members of Church of the Holy Spirit. We have been praying for God to lead us to a church for our family to grow and to be challenged. I’ve connected with some of the most beautiful and richly seasoned Christian women! We cannot say enough about how this community of believers has been just that for our family and I look forward to what’s to come as we grow in our faith.

I read a daily devotional by Sarah Young called Jesus Calling. My Dad gave my our copy in 2014 and is something I try to read each day before I look at my phone. 

I’m also in the middle of a study called Seamless by Angie and it has been AMAZING! It you are looking for a birds eye view of how the people, stores and histories of the Bible come together, I’d highly recommend this study.

Family, Friends and Support

One of the first questions I get asked is “What did your husband say when you decided to give up drinking alcohol?” Well, the short answer is that it was shaky and tricky (which sometimes still can be). I mean it was a large part of our lives for so long. We met in the free-spirited college days and we had fewer responsibilities. I was nervous!

I often thought:

What would this mean for us?

We didn’t really know each other without “this” there?

How could we have a non-drinker in the house while another one might still drink?  

We certainly don’t have this figured out nor do I think we ever will, but I can tell you that so far it has been so much better for us at large. Stephen has been nothing but super supportive and ya’ll, I certainly hit the jackpot when it comes to an amazing husband and father to our children. He has totally been my rock and we continue to pray though things together.

My children have also been a huge part of my success so far. There was a time that I would have a glass of wine while cooking their dinner, then another during their bath, and then I’d rush their bed time so I could go downstairs and have another glass. Subconsciously or not, this would happen often.

When you try and numb out the stressful stuff, you also miss out on the good stuff.

Now that this is my new normal, I find myself so much calmer, patient and present with my children. It’s seriously light night and day! Sure there are those tough moments where I might look at my phone too much! Or when they are going nuts and I have to breathe and pray but that is all good too! The point is that I really want to be with them and make clear, lasting memories with them.

When I touch on the issue of friends, so far it has been a positive one. Most of the one-on-one responses I’ve had have been nothing short of supportive.

I also believe it’s important for you to know that I have a compassionate side to those who don’t quite understand my decision or how to “respond” to my decision. I never want people to feel awkward around me because I’m not drinking wine. This is new for everyone (especially me). It will take some time and that is all good!

However, in the beginning I was slightly nervous because I knew I only had one friend that was publicly sober.

Only one.

So, of course I reached out to her immediately after making my decision. I’ve also connected with another friend that gave up alcohol shortly before I did. Both of them have been angels to me and we group text almost every day!

Since I have been more public about living an alcohol free life and how I believe God has put it on my heart to share my truth,  I’ve been amazed at the number of women who’ve reached out to me.

These are other women just like I was - sober curious, uncomfortable with their drinking habits and looking for support. If you find yourself reading my story so far, know that there are other women in our area who are also trying to navigate through this. Especially when our culture is constantly telling us that we need alcohol to function in life. This group of women amazes me every single day and the support from them has been so huge!

So support has been essential and I’m grateful to have others who I can connect with on this decision.

Now that you have heard the two major areas of importance in my first 100 days of living an alcohol free life. I want to highlight a few more because without them, it would have made my first 100 days much harder.

Essential Oils

When I think of the term “essential oils” I have to be honest, I get the crunchy vibe. Like there is a lot of mixing potions or something? However, I became really curious about essential oils back in the winter so I decided to try a starter kit from Young Living. This company has been around a very long time and they have their own farms that they source from. Anyway, the kit literally sat there unopened until February or so! It was during that season on Lent when I decided to open it up and try defusing lavender and frankincense at night.

This was a game changer y’all!

I joke and say that I literally bathed in those oils for the first 30 days without alcohol! It was so nice to have the calming effect from the lavender and the grounding effect from the frankincense. I’ve had so much fun experimenting with the oils! I like to try different blends to see what I like best for special things. I still defuse at night and most evenings when the kids get home. I even got Charlotte her own defuser for her room at night because the lavender helps her sleep too!

Social Media and Podcasts

Ok, this is a really fun tool for me! This has been huge in my daily motivation and inspiration. When I was first communicating with my two original alcohol free friends, I was told to check out this interview that took place on the MegynKelly TODAY show. I was excited to see an interview on the topics of mothers and drinking. 

This interview cracked me wide open. 

Check it out here! 

This was the first time I saw and heard other stories that I could relate to. I thought these women literally crawled into my head and picked parts of my story out to use for their own. Parts of the interview stung. I had been there too! Especially with the story of Aidan Donnelley Rowley, the third mom that comes in on the second interview - she defined the term “grey area drinking” and I knew I could totally relate to this!

Grey area drinking was me.

So, I immediately started following her on Instagram and I discovered one of her side accounts called Drybe Club (or the Dry Tribe). This is a space for those living or curious about living the dry life!

From there I was immediately connected to other supportive accounts that highlight an alcohol free/sober life like The Sober Glow, Tell Better Stories, HealthyDiscoveries to just name a few.

Check them out and see for yourself! You might find something that surprises you or even speaks to you.

The podcast I dove straight into was Edit – co-hosted by Aidan Donnelly Rowley and Joline Park. Aidan is a writer and Joline is a functional nutritionist and wellness coach. I LOVE every minute of Edit! Both women have very similar yet different stories of how to edit drinking and things in your life!

Home is another podcast that I have listened to a few episodes co-hosted with Laura McGowan (from the Meygan Kelly interview) and Holly Whitaker with Hip Sobriety. I have not finished this one, but it really dives deep into the depths of terrible addiction and their stories on how they overcame it. Worth a listen for sure!

Get an App

I use the I Am Sober App. It’s a neat tool that I have on my phone. It tracks the days you’ve been sober, how much money you are saving and your upcoming milestone! It will be 4 months for me soon!

So, it’s really fun! I don’t always check it every day, but I find it helpful to have that app to check in on my progress!

Working Out  

This may not come as a surprise to you that working out, moving my body, walking my dog, getting outside has been especially crucial in my life since giving up alcohol. When I was drinking, I was so much harder on myself. I was not taking days off. All so I could make room for the calories I would consume later that night with wine.

Now I believe I have a much better relationship with exercise. It helps me so much with my anxiety and focus. I can actually FEEL my body in such a different way now. I really want to honor it more now. I give myself days off to do yoga, dive into my Bible study or just go to the pool/hang out with the kids.

Tea, Dark Chocolate and Kombucha

Meet my three new best friends! 

When I first gave alcohol up for Lent, I made sure to stock up on all the hot tea. At night is when I would always want a glass of wine and I’ve found that hot tea really helps relax me and get me settled. I’ve always been a fan of green tea, but I branched out into the Chamomile and love it so much! A friend of mine recently recommended Rose tea! If you have other suggestions, I’d love to hear!

Surprisingly, I have become a fan of dark chocolate and this is something I have NEVER loved before! One thing that happened after I gave up alcohol is that the sugar cravings came in. My body was so used to having so much sugar from the wine that it was somewhat freaking out when it was not there. I’ve been told that this is totally normal. I’ve given myself grace in the sweets department for sure. I am not hard on myself if I find myself in the candy bowl a little more than I used to. 

For me, it’s better than the mini fridge!

 

Kombucha is a variety of fermented tea that contains a large number of healthy probiotics that support gut heath, your immune system, fight infection and illnesses. “Booch” is something that I’ve been drinking for about a year now and I am SO excited its taking flight in the Roanoke area! More grocery stores are offering it and we even have Humm Kombucha that will be taking root here very soon! I have big aspirations to help advocate for kombucha to be offered in more restaurants in Roanoke.

It might take trying a few different kinds to find the right flavor for you, but I find that they are delicious and good so good for you!

In closing, I believe that it’s also important that you know that this has not exactly been easy for me.

There have been days when I have wanted a glass of wine when I have had a hard day.

There have been times where I have felt like I’ve missed out on something.

There have been times when I’m out to dinner and see other women sitting across the room laughing over their cocktails.

I’ve been resentful of my family because there is this “one thing” that I inherited that isn’t good for me when I have it.

I’m sure I could type more about how hard this has been but when I sit here and think about it, the bottom line is that the pros really outweigh the cons when it comes to my alcohol free life.

I’m a better disciple

I’m a better wife

I’m a better mom

I’m a better employee

I’m a better friend

I’m a better daughter

I’m a better sister

Overall, I am just a better person without it.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. It is very personal to me and I hope that it has given some of you hope and clarity. My goal with sharing this is that I want to try to be a resource for people when I didn’t think there was a resource. 

If you ever have any questions, feel free to leave a comment or email me at saralyn.hamilton@gmail.com. 

Love and Light,

Saralyn