What I am about to write and put out to the universe and fills me with very mixed emotions. I’m shaking, scared, but also smiling a little too.

This is probably the most vulnerable thing I have ever sat down to write, but I know God put me here and he is holding my hand.

1 Corinthians 16:13-14 - my favorite scripture in the Bible (so far). 

I’ve actually been trying to find reasons to hold off on writing about this, hoping to get distracted, maybe even not doing it at all. 

Just staying silent.

However, I have prayed about this, and I believe with all of my heart that what I am about to share is just too important not to put out there. 

And I want you to know you are not alone.

So here we go…

I want to be honest and up front. I’m finally at a point where I’ve said enough already! Enough with hiding. Enough with the hinting at what might be going on in my life. 

I have decided to give up alcohol.

Today, marks 80 days into this new journey.

I am still a little shaky.

This is all still very new.

I by far don’t “have it all figured out” and I don’t think I ever will.

It’s something I continue to unpack every day.

It’s important that you know that this decision is a very personal one. For me, there isn’t a really deep, dark story. No one got hurt or got into trouble. No one ever pulled me aside and suggested that I had “a problem”.

The best way I can describe it is that I was a “gray area” drinker.

Let me explain…

In a nutshell, most everyone in my family has struggled with addiction.

This has brought great pain and sadness to so many people I love. At the same time, it also has brought so much light when times have been dark. That is the beauty of what God does and His timing.

Depression and anxiety are also something that has been hard to escape.

As I have been digesting all of this, I realized that my anxiety probably started well into my childhood. Coming from a family of divorce and the challenges that come along with that has been hard at times. I been an athlete all my life, so I was always striving to do well and was always goal driven. As I grew into college, my anxiety kicked into high gear after the tragedy of 9/11.

As many of you know, I developed post partum anxiety and depression after having our second child. As a mother, you begin to have new responsibilities with keeping a little human alive and well. Bring in a second little one into the picture, and there is even more to manage. Not to mention the pressures of what our society (and social media) say about what being a good wife, mom and employee are all supposed to look like. There can be a ton of pressure.

All of my plates were spinning, and I was doing my best to keep them going.

Now here is where it’s going to get real and raw.

Late 2017 going into early 2018, I would find myself reaching for a glass of wine at night. Helping calm my nerves…to help make me feel less anxious.

During that time, sometimes one or two glasses of wine at night would turn into a bottle of wine.

I did this more often than I meant to for a while.

A profound thought I believe is important to share is my relationship with exercise. Most of you know that I have a passion for health and wellness. During this time, I would often over exercise or not give myself days off so that I could make room for calories I knew I would be drinking later that night. This is something that I wasn’t exactly aware of, but in the back of my mind was there.

I would think about when I could start drinking late afternoon especially, when things got really hectic with the kids. If I am being honest, I just couldn’t wait until 5pm.

I found myself super impatient and aggrieved towards my kids. “Can’t they just hurry up and go to bed so I can get my drink on?”, “I need to/I deserve to relax!” I would be so sad and feel shameful the next morning when I didn’t feel well. I still had to get up with my babies and make their lunch. I sometimes resented this. Seriously, this was so my subconscious behavior and this is so hard to admit.

When you hear your daughter ask to drink milk out of a “pretty glass like Mommy”…that struck me to the core. That was testimony to what she was observing. They watch EVERYTHING we do y’all! Everything!

One night I lost my cool at them both in the bathroom for not cooperating in taking a bath. They are babies and little and I would for sure say I was quite buzzed.

The more this went on, I felt its scales wrapping around me tighter. Starting to potentially own me. It could not go on.

That was the night that everything changed for me.

I remember going into my bathroom and looking in my mirror. As I stood there crying, I asked God to help me and to take “this” kind of pain away from me.

Now for the test…

On Monday, February 12, I decided I would not drink before Ash Wednesday. I seriously could not WAIT for the 40 days of Lent to start. I wanted to feel better, get out from under it and I didn’t want anything to own me.

I wanted to be closer to Him.

Over the course of the 40+ days, it was very eye-opening in what God showed me.

He showed me how to be a better disciple for Him, to be a better wife, mother, friend and employee.

I believe Stephen and I are both more patient with each other, we love on each other more, are growing in our faith together. i have to mention what an intimate thing it is to pray with your husband.

I try and soak up every single minute with the children. I truly believe that they deserve the best of me and I want to do my best to give it to them. They make me want to be a better person.

I have a much better relationship with exercise and I have started exploring more self care. I took the first bath in our house a few weeks ago and that was amazing. We have lived here for over two years if that tells you anything. In the past, I would never take 20 minutes to slow down and do something like that for myself. In the past, it was all about how fast could I get downstairs and pour a glass. Seriously.

Overall, I am much more productive at home, work and in life.

As a side note, I have a dear friend that has recently gave up alcohol and we text most every day. She knows all of what I’ve shared with you and she’s such a blessing. Especially those early days into this when I want to have a glass of wine. It felt like God knew I would need someone to help me get through this and he provided that support for me. She is/was that angel on Earth for me. 

I was not alone.

As I look back on where I was some 6 months ago, I know that I was sober curious, but I did feel alone. Like there was no other way to do this life without alcohol.

I was managing my anxiety with alcohol thinking it was somehow helping me. But in turn, it ended up giving me more anxiety and it became this sad cycle.

Coming from a family of addiction, it was almost arrogant of me to think that it would somehow “skip over me” like I didn’t have the same DNA as everyone else.

So if you are reading this, it’s important for you to know that you are not alone. This is a real thing. 

I do see you. 

I know that person. 

I was that person and I still love that person so much. Trying to figure out how to do this world without alcohol is tricky and it's something I'm still working with and unpacking on a daily basis.

I believe I am a better person without it and I’m so grateful have made a choice while the choice was still a possibility for me.   

Sending you love and light,

Saralyn 

Snowshoe Condo Review

As I look outside, there are still tiny signs of snow on the ground, so I found it fitting to share a little about our latest trip to Snowshoe, WVa. 

For many of you reading this, your family may be regulars on the slopes. However, you might be interested in new idea on a place to consider when booking your next trip.

Snowshoe, WVa is just over three hours from Roanoke, VA. In the car, that equals to about two “shows” according to our 5 year old daughter Charlotte.

As a little girl our family grew up skiing with my parents out west, and ski school was just part of what you did. This is where you learned “Pizza” for stopping and “French Fries” for going.

To this day, I can remember the mini white chocolate candy bars given to us as we would go up the ski lift. I also remember the time I failed to get off the ski lift with my Dad. I think I had to ride back down the entire thing alone…not awesome.

My little sister, Kristin and me at Snowmass in Aspen, CO on a family trip. 

When we decided to plan our trip this year, we knew my Dad (who will be turning 70 this year) had to be a part of the planning. For the last 10 years or so, he and his buddies would go out to Big Sky, Montana for a week’s trip. Dad could not wait to go with us and ski with his 5 year old granddaughter, Charlotte.

As a Mom, one of the biggest challenges when planning a trip like this was finding the “right” place to stay. Before Stephen and I had kids, most places we stayed weren’t exactly the nicest, and often times there will be a lingering smell of mildew and sweat from the snow sport. Again, this was well before kids, and we really didn’t care!

When we found Soaring Eagle 102, we knew it was going to be perfect for our family and here is why…

This 2 bedroom - 2 bathroom condo is located at The Top of The World at Snowshoe…which is well…at the very top of the Snowshoe Mountain.

When researching, we realized that the condo was conveniently located on the first floor of the building, and it came with all the amenities you would like to have in a weekend getaway space without even having to think about skiing. Especially when taking children, you have to consider that you might end up spending more time inside that you might think. Of course, these are things we Mom’s think about.

Being on the first floor, it was so nice to be close to things like the heated covered parking garage, locker room for gear storage, rental and retail shops, trash disposal area, the on-site restaurant, three outdoor hot tubs, a gym, sauna, treatment room for massages and the Soaring Eagle Hearth Room and Bar.

Y’all, the Soaring Eagle Hearth Room and Bar was BEAUTIFUL! All you needed was a good book, a blanket and a hot cup of tea to chill in this space. I immediately imagined how beautiful a small, intimate wedding there would be.

Charlotte checking out the view inside the Soaring Eagle Hearth Room.

Other things that I found especially impressive about the Soaring Ridge 102 condo were the spacious kitchen and dining area. There was plenty of room for all of us to sprawl out. I loved how the kitchen was open, updated and there wasn’t anything they didn’t already have there! IT WAS CLEAN and overall just incredibly well kept.

Spacious kitchen area

The spacious living/dining area with the fireplace and large TV.

It was also magical to have the gas log fireplace to use when we wanted! Oh and of course a washer and dryer is ALWAYS a crucial tool. Can I get an AMEN!?

The bedrooms each had separate bathrooms and are located on the opposite sides of the condo. Another thing awesome thing to point out was that the rooms had blackout shades…so important for when nap time rolls around. Then another thing we never had to worry about noise in this building!

Master Bedroom

Mater Bathroom that included a shower and large tub. 

Then we move on to quite possibly the best part…

Yall…the view was breathtaking. It was the most incredible view I have ever seen in all of my visits to Snowshoe. The back balcony sits directly in front of the Soaring Eagle ski lift, and it was so cool to see everyone coming down the lift throughout the weekend!

Soaring Ridge ski lift just off the balcony. 

Beautiful sunrise

Again...so beautiful!

It was so beautiful to see the sun come up and go down each day. I loved catching up with my Dad who I haven’t seen in months. Watching our daughter in ski school - doing her thing is a moment that makes me smile. Enjoying the beautiful surroundings that our God has given to us was such a gift. Personally, I think bouncing around to the different outdoor hot tubs with the family WHILE it was snowing might have been my favorite moments in the entire weekend.

Charlotte and I enjoying the hot tub while it was snowing!

Charlotte ready to get after it!

BuckDawg (Dad), me and Stephen on the ski lift. 

Charlotte and Daddy off to Ski School (it's so worth it!)

Last night after supper. 

Kids or no kids ...skiing or not, I believe most of us can appreciate these qualities of this beautiful condo when considering a weekend get-away. The owners were lovely to work with and would love for you to check out this property during your next visit to Snowshoe. If booked, mention that you read this review and you'll receive 10% OFF your stay! 

Follow this link to check out the full property listing: https://www.vrbo.com/329241

xoxo,

Saralyn 

What is...The Well?!

I know…we all have our stigmas and hang ups with social media.

Yes, it can be a total rabbit hole, a distraction, a place for rants, bullying and often times….nothingness. Or it can help connect you to like-minded people, inspire you, help you, and sometimes show you places that you don’t even KNOW that you NEED to be.

I couple of months ago was surfing around on Instagram and saw a simple post – “The Well - It’s Tonight!” I had NO idea what this was, but I was intrigued. I took a look at the followers on The Well account and there were a couple friends that I knew, so I reached out to them about it.

That is exactly how I found The Well.

Just discovering The Well, I was unable to attend the gathering in January. Looking back on photos, it was a packed house at the Grandin CoLab and the energy looked AMAZING! I KNEW I had to attend the next gathering!

The Well is a monthly night of worship, fellowship and truth for women. It’s a chance to be refreshed and experience living water. The Well is inter-denominational and not affiliated with any one church. There is an awesome piece of scripture that is inspired for the name of this group gathering for women:

John 4:14 - “but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

At the February gathering, I felt just that and more!

I decided to go with one of my best friends who is a strong Christian and someone I look up to, especially when it comes to her walk with Jesus. We were both greeted with open arms and hugs at the door. Women of all shapes, sizes, ages and color were in attendance. Each of us took a name tag and enjoyed the lovely spread of snacks and drinks!

With one of my best friends, Randi Earls! Enjoying an evening away from the babes!

The beautiful ladies in attendance at The Well at the Grandin CoLab!

There is a leadership and prayer team at The Well. Once everyone was settled; one of the members of the leadership team greeted us and opened up in prayer. She was super bubbly and her love for the Lord was so contagious.

The Well Leadership Team Member, Sarah Rachel Janney welcoming everyone. 

There was a beautiful praise band that literally brought me to tear up more than once during the gathering. The three girls singing where AMAZING! They have the most angelic voices – you could actually FEEL their love for the words pouring out to us.

I cannot fully describe it, but there was the sweetest energy there! I know that everyone had to feel the same way I felt. What we were feeling was God’s presence.

The beautiful and talented Praise Team!

It was time for the speaker to hop up on stage, and that is when I realized that I left my notebook at home. I NEVER leave the house without my notebook, and I was so mad that I couldn’t take notes! On this night, I didn’t need to take notes; I needed to just listen…

The speaker was a tiny, beautiful mother of three boys and she wanted to talk to us about Fear. During her talk, she walked us through what it looked like not to have confidence in God to get us through our fears.  

The Well Leadership Team Member and Speaker, Abby McClellan.

·       How many times have I been afraid, scared or anxious and not leaned into God to help me with that situation? 

·       How often do we get caught up in the “what if’s” of life or thing we can do it all on our own?

·       How many times have you gone to another substance to cover up the fear or pain?

·       How often have you woken up feeling shameful or sad because you didn’t rely on Him to get you through the fear?

I can certainly relate.

By relying on God, she shared how she no longer has to be afraid, anxious, dependant or shameful. This girl and her vulnerability captivated me and sent my wheels into motion. She was phenomenal!

In closing, there were 4 questions put up for us to ponder over:

1.     Have you experienced God radically change your life? If so, how does knowing and remembering His faithfulness change you?

2.     If this is the first time you have heard about God’s love, what would stop you from taking that step in believing it?

3.     If you know and believe in God, do you let the truth that: He Loves You No Matter What, be the anchor for how you operate daily? (Interactions with others, decisions, etc.)

4.     In what ways has God made you brave?

I am personally still thinking about these answers as I type them out. Maybe one day I will dive in and share them with you.

More people have to hear stories like hers! More women must come to The Well and hear these amazing stories of struggle and good news!

The next gathering is Tuesday, March 27 at the Grandin CoLab at 7:00pm.

For more information, follow them on Instagram at @thewellroanoke and on Facebook at The Well Roanoke!

The Well Instgram and Facebook pages

I welcome any thoughts or questions you may have about The Well! You may also email them at thewellroanoke@gmail.com! 

Maybe we can go together in a couple of weeks! I hope to see you and your friends there!

xoxo,

Saralyn 

Coaching to CBS

As many of you know, in June 2016, we were blessed with the arrival of our sweet boy, Carson Wills Hamilton. Named after my father-in-law and my grandfather. He has brought so much joy to our lives and always keeps us on our toes.

Not long after this, I began working out at home and absolutely LOVED that I could accomplish so much in the four walls of our house. I literally wanted EVERYONE I knew to know that it was possible to get in shape with a sustainable program through Beachbody. I decided to sign up and become a “Coach” because I wanted to help others like I had been helped. There was no formal health and fitness training that I was required to go though, just showing up and helping others stay accountable was the basic requirements. I’ve been passionate about health and fitness my entire life. I’ve been on very successful sports teams and been a state champion in two separate sports.

By the Fall, I was on a roll! I was unstoppable. I was having daily conversations with people and really hoping to help change peoples’ lives. I had this crazy fire in my belly, but I was also dealing with a dark cloud over my shoulder. I thought it would go away if I ate right, workout enough, kissed my babies more. Nothing ever really helped.

October 2016, I discovered the clear news that I was battling with postpartum depression and anxiety. This was a real blow, but also a HUGE relief to know what was wrong. I thought postpartum happened immediately after you had the baby. Mine didn’t rear its head until 6 months after Carson was born. I later learned that it can happen as late as a year or more after you have the baby.

I continued Coaching and also working my part-time job as the Marketing and Brand Manager at Polished and of course, being a Mom of two. I was so happy to be a part of something that really gave me permission to think BIG! To invest in yourself with personal development and to jump even when you are scared. Not to mention I had some amazing mentors along the way. Some I still stay in touch with. Many who have a HUGE relationship with God and really loved that about them. I really believe that I would not be where I am if it wasn’t that year long experience.

But over time, I found that things were slipping. My focus had shifted. If I am being honest, Coaching was the first thing I thought about when I went to bed and the first thing I thought about when I got up in the morning. I felt like it was consuming me. Now, I want to be clear about something. I know that I have the personality to go big or go home. I tend to go all in and set very high goals for myself. I truly believe that I gave this business my very best and in the end, it just wasn’t my jam.

Now, along my Coaching path, I ALWAYS talked to God about this whole side gig. “God, if you want me to continue doing this, then I will, but if you don’t want me doing this anymore, I know you will show me something else.” I would have little talks like this with Him daily.

I specifically remember one day early October 2017. I was sitting in my living room and I got a reminder that my son’s sitter was closed for a holiday. Of course, it wasn’t on my calendar and I had a million things to do - mostly with Coaching. I got so mad that she couldn’t help me. Then I looked at his little face and said “no more.” That day was when I decided to let it all go. I decided to quit Beachbody Coaching.

I was very distracted from the things that should matter most; Faith, Family and Friendships and God was telling me to hit the reset button.

I took some time to communicate with my 70+ clients and everyone was so graceful and understanding. Stephen and I still do the workouts here at home and have adopted a mindful and healthy lifestyle.

I knew what God was telling me in my living room that day. If I wanted to get things straight, I needed to get to know Him a little better. It was so clear in my heart and I remember seeing a friend of mine attend a local Bible Study. I remember frantically texting her about how to get information.

Since October 24, 2017, Carson and I have been attending Community Bible Study. It's located at Church of the Holy Spirit, but many women from all kinds of churches, nationalities backgrounds attend. It's a non-denominational Bible Study and childcare is provide.. 

They have Community Bible Study International (CBSI) ALL over the world and the curriculum has been translated in over 75 languages. Pretty amazing!

I didn’t grow up going to church that consistently. I know the basic stories, but I have never really dived and studied the Word like this. Each Tuesday, you arrive and have fellowship, then break off into your Core group. This is a diverse and colorful group of about +/- 12 women. You have a Core group leader and she is there to shepherd you and keep the group on track. I like to think of this as my “spiritual accountability group”. My group is so special and it’s amazing to hear the different perspectives on scripture. After the 45 minute Core group discussion is finished, we move on to the Lecture where everyone comes back together to listen to one of the Directors re-cap and share knowledge on the lesson. Meanwhile, the little children have their own CBS lesson that is mirrored by the lessons the women are going over! How amazing it that!?

Listen, I have always believed that Jesus died for us and all, but I never really put any effort into getting to know Him like a friend. 

I remember my grandmother, Charlotte, always telling me it was important to put God first, then your other relationships....with your partner or children. My grandparents were married over 70 years so, back in October, I thought I would give this thought a try!

Listen…

We are ALL born into a crazy, broken and sinful world. 

We are ALL sinners and make mistakes every. single. day. 

I am learning that Jesus and God are the ONLY things that will not disappoint you in life. People will because we are only human. 

It might sounds strange, but if I put ALL of my existence into other idols like my husband, kids, job, etc.,  I will always end up disappointed. Not filled up. Even they cannot fill up our hearts like God can. 

​Think about this....

God literally sent his one and only baby. His only child. His baby boy. He sent this baby boy to our broken world so He could bring hope and joy to the world. God sent Jesus so he could do this then to turn around and take our sins away by suffering an unimaginable death.  

I could not imagine. 

Not with my children. 

Not my baby boy.

It is unthinkable. 

God LOVES us so much that he did THAT for us. WOW!

God and Jesus KNOW our suffering because they have been though what we have. They have been through LOSS, persecution, abandonment, deception, unimaginable pain and the list goes on....

We are never alone in our suffering because they HAVE been though it and they are always walking with us – holding our hand.

When I sit hear and read what I am writing....THIS is why I am curious about this man named Jesus and His Father God. I mean, he did some pretty cool and unbelievable stuff, so why not learn a little about Him too, right? 

Like a relationship.

Like a friendship.

God has already reached His hand down and touched us - Forgave us. The least I can do is try to engage back with Him and get to know Him some too. Because you know what, it FEELS GOOD knowing Him.

If you are still reading, thank you for making it his far. For what it is worth, this is where my head is at these days and I am enjoying soaking everything in. Praying and listening for cues while making my faith and family the priority. I honestly hope and pray that each person reading this will one day feel what I feel. 

So loved.

xoxo,

Saralyn 

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. 

1 Corinthians 16:13-14